If you're more interested in someone's bookshelf than their hot bod or bulging bank account, you might be a sapiosexual. Although critics call sapiosexuals snobs and suggest that smarts have always been a major player in human attraction, this uber-trendy "sexual orientation" is really just another way to identify yourself as one who privileges intelligence above all else in a potential partner. Identity politics reign supreme, so it's fitting that we constantly conceive new categories to label and define our niche sensibilities and predilections, however ridiculous or annoying or unnecessary they may seem.
As a recovering sapiosexual, I have experienced the benefits and drawbacks from limiting my dating pool to only those who know the difference between Barthes, Baudrillard, and de Beauvoir. There was a time that a mispronounced word, misspelling, or blank stare about canonical works of literature, philosophy, or art would wither all signs of attraction on the spot. My sex life was brimming with cunning linguists who bought me books instead of flowers and who truly gave new meaning to the phrase "giving head." While sapiosexuals might limit their romantic or erotic possibilities by limiting their definition of what intelligence means, the pretentious heart just wants what it wants. So if you're looking to please a brain teaser, here are six ways to turn a sapiosexual on.
1. Impress them with your spot-on pronunciation of commonly mispronounced words
Sometimes, it's the little things to a sapiosexual, like knowing that it's "nuclear" and not "nucular," "espresso" and not "expresso" or "et cetera" not "ex cetera." Even the smallest linguistic clues will set a sapiosexual off (or turn them on), so your verbiage needs to be on point. Just remember if you're having dessert: there have never and will never be two "r's" in sherbet.
Have your sapiosexual trembling (without the fear) when you lay some Kierkegaard quotes on them. Write: "Love discovers truths about individuals that others cannot see" for something a little more romantic, or keep it casual by sending off a sexy Sartre sext: "Life has no meaning the moment you lose the illusion of being eternal." BOOM.
3. Gift them a selection of Anais Nin's Delta Of Venus in a 50 Shades dust jacket
Many a sapiosexual enjoys laughing at the "plebs" and their unrefined tastes, so why not share a chuckle over the worst in erotic pop lit? Dress up Anais Nin's renowned publication of erotic short storiesDelta of Venus in a 50 Shades of Greydust jacket to really hammer the point home. The juxtaposition of these two publications is sure to create humorous disjuncture between your form of sensual erudition and the de rigueur titillation of the masses.
What's better than a cat meme? A Schrodinger's Cat meme! Even if you don't personally understand quantum mechanics, any sapiosexual worth his or her salt is sure to love this twist on our favorite Internet past time. Add a quote about wanting your reality to collapse into their reality, and you're sure to get their theoretical juices flowing.
Don't waste time on cardio or bicep curls, strengthen and test your knowledge with a Mensa Workout. Some sapiosexuals will enjoy a team challenge, while others will be totally hot and bothered by comparing scores at the end. Winner gets bragging rights (and the crushing realization that they possess the superior intellect). Good luck!
6. Use "body language" to let them know how limiting you think written language truly is
Written language can be a vehicle for great minds, and yet, anyone with a basic understanding of linguistics or post-structuralist theory knows just how very limited it is. When all else fails, if you can't express your feelings through words, forgo the verbal foreplay and hit the sheets. Just make sure you invite your sapiosexual to "transcend the symbolic order and experience a REAL night of pleasure" or something Lacanian-sounding like that.
Homepage Follow Sign in Get started HOME READ LATEST AI BLOCKCHAIN STABLECOINS DATA SCIENCE HN PODCAST OPEN LETTERS HACKER JOBS Johnny Follow On a quest to optimize for judgment. Writer, Coder, Poker Player. Tweets on Books, Strategy, Decision Making, Psychology, Learning & Self Development. Oct 22 Everything I Knew About Reading Was Wrong https://hackernoon.com/everything-i-knew-about-reading-was-wrong-bde7e57fbfdc Everything I knew About Reading Was Wrong. I realized this about a year ago. All those rules I took for granted were holding me back. Once I let go, I rediscovered the joy in reading — something I haven’t felt since I was a teenager, skipping classes to read Nietzsche or Albert Camus. It all started with a podcast. It wasn’t even my insight. It was one of those rare occasions where you take someone’s advice, apply it to your life — and the results are instant and overw...
Homepage Follow Sign in Get started HOME READ LATEST AI BLOCKCHAIN STABLECOINS DATA SCIENCE HN PODCAST REAL $ TALK HACKER JOBS Anvay Rane Follow Exploring my options. "Just an Honest miner in an adversarial world." Oct 20 Evaluation of Bitcoin as a Store-of-Value https://hackernoon.com/evaluation-of-bitcoin-as-a-store-of-value-2cb0a7961713 Which is better, a friend of vast population, or a friend of immense gold? — Arthashastra The teacher says “a friend of vast population is better, inasmuch as such a friend will be of imposing power and can, when he rises up, accomplish any work undertaken.” Not so, says the student, “a friend possessing immense gold is better; for possession of gold is ever desirable, but an army is not always required. Moreover, armies and other desired objects can be purchased for gold.” Why do we have such common desirability for gold? We cannot eat the gold, wear...
Comments
Post a Comment